Peace indicator | Potoci

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True friendship knows no boundaries

_{Author: Mirza Lalić}

According to popular wisdom, adversity shows who your real friends are. Friendship is commonly defined as a positive and close bond between two or more individuals, characterized by mutual understanding and trust. However, the significance of national or ethnic belonging in forming or maintaining friendships is strongly emphasized in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and specifically in Mostar.

Taking into account the overall context and considering the events of the past few decades, particularly the devastating and destructive war, I personally fail to comprehend why nationality or ethnic background should hold such importance in defining friendship. Just as religious, political, or ideological affiliations should not matter. Similarly, one’s colour preferences or choice of football club should not be relevant factors.The undeniable fact is that war has disrupted many long-standing friendships, particularly in Mostar. However, it is equally true that a significant number of friendships have been re-established after the war, even among individuals who once belonged to opposing enemy forces. It’s a fascinating paradox and an intriguing proposition: “friends ended their friendly relationship because they fought on opposing sides in enemy armies, but then they restored their friendship.”

Nevertheless, when we consider this latter proposition, it somewhat contradicts my initial argument and provides a context that challenges the notion I initially presented that nationality is irrelevant in building lasting friendships.

I was born in the aftermath of the war. As the 21st century dawned, I embarked on my journey through elementary school, where I found myself in a classroom that celebrated diversity and inclusivity right from the first grade. Our school was composed of children from diverse ethnic backgrounds, or more specifically, children whose parents hailed from different ethnic groups. The very notion of ethnicity itself is intriguing, as it raises thought-provoking questions. To truly experience a sense of belonging, it requires self-identification and a deep understanding of these concepts. However, for young children who have yet to grasp the meaning behind these terms, it can be challenging for them to define themselves in that context. This is what makes the topic so captivating to me, as my perspective on it may diverge slightly from that of the majority of my fellow citizens.

From the moment we entered the first grade of elementary school, my friend Marko and I formed an incredibly tight bond. We shared a beautiful childhood and school days together. We arrived at school together, shared our snacks, sandwiches, and sweets, cheered for the same football team, trained together, and attended football practices side by side. We were there for each other during lessons, even engaging in a bit of mischief to help one another. Our friendship simply clicked, without the slightest consideration for our names, Nihad and Marko, or any awareness of our nationalities.

As we matured and acquired new knowledge in school, as well as through our daily interactions with people, families, and relatives, we gradually came to comprehend the meaning of nationality or ethnicity. Surprisingly, it was precisely when we fully understood these concepts that our friendship grew stronger and closer. We found ourselves spending even more time together, bonding on a deeper level.

While circumstances led Marko and me to pursue slightly different paths in our education and careers, our friendship remained intact. We may have drifted apart to some extent, but we have always prioritized maintaining our connection and continue to meet for coffee regularly. 

Among the countless memories we share, one particular incident from our first-grade years still stands out vividly. Our mischievous antics and incessant chatting in class led the teacher to intervene and attempt to separate us. In response, we clung to each other tightly, tears streaming down our faces as we pleaded not to be torn apart. The teacher’s remark, “It’s as if you share the same mother,” beautifully illustrates the notion that nationality holds no significance when it comes to forging and sustaining true friendships. The years we spent together in school, especially my bond with Marko, my closest friend at the time, remain etched in my heart as the most cherished and unforgettable period of my life.